Which Came First….

It’s a question I get asked several times a year– which came first, the sad music or the blue mood? It’s an excellent question, and one I’m not sure has a definitive answer. Were we feeling blue when we chose the song that’s a little on the depressing side because we wanted to hear something that matched our mood? Or did the slightly depressing song lyrics change our mood to reflect what they were expressing? Or, maybe, both?

And the answer is…

I don’t think the question can be answered easily one way or the other in most situations. Sure, there are certainly times when we’re fresh out of a bad breakup or a heated argument when we specifically choose a song that reflects exactly how we’re feeling in that moment. But more often than not, I believe something more subtle is happening that requires us to dig a little deeper to determine what’s going on.

For decades, people have blamed song lyrics for bad behavior– usually in teenagers and young adults. Think of kids who drink, do drugs, engage in criminal behavior, act out physically and sometimes violently. And they listen to music that includes lyrics about drinking, drugging, stealing, etc. But what’s behind that behavior? Were they engaging in those activities already and just listen to that music because it’s reflecting what they’re already feeling, or is it the other way around?

So which is it– music or mood?

As a music therapist having worked in many places with a lot of different people, my experience tells me that ‘which came first’ isn’t the key question here. The key is what’s really going on. So whether you felt depressed first or chose the song that made you feel depressed, it’s the underlying emotion that’s most important. That’s what I would ask my clients about, and we’d explore the emotion more fully.

So the next time you find yourself feeling sad (or angry, or whatever) over a song on the radio, ask yourself– what’s that about? Was I feeling that way already, or did the song just remind me of another time when I felt similarly? Is there something here I need to work through? Give it a little more thought.

If you’re curious about how music therapy might help, contact me anytime.  I’m always happy to answer questions!