Stages of Grief

Throughout life, we all have to deal with losses. Some are small (like losing a big football game or getting passed over for a work project), and some are big (like the death of a loved one). Every time we experience a loss, we experience grief. The bigger the loss, the longer the grieving period. So it’s important that we know and understand the grieving process.  You can watch my video on the subject here.

The five stages of grief are:

• denial
• anger
• bargaining (the “if only” or “what if” stage)
• depression
• acceptance

First, it’s a process. It’s not a list of symptoms you can check off as you experience them (“yup, feeling angry about losing my job– check!”) nor is it linear (“ok, finished denying that I got fired, time to move on to anger!”). Just like any process in life, we all move through it differently in our own individual ways. It’s also normal to experience these stages of grief out of order, even to repeat a stage or two in the process.

Second, processes take time. Grief especially takes time. Tradition says that the period of mourning is one year, but that’s not exactly true. The first year after losing a loved one (like a spouse or parent) is indeed the hardest, but mourning goes on past that first anniversary. It’s perfectly normal to grieve the loss of a significant person in life for years after they’ve passed away. What changes is the intensity of the grief– not the mourning. And that simply takes time.

If a good support system of family and friends is in place, then most people are able to move through the grieving process on their own with the love and support of their family and friends. However, if you find that you’re stuck in the process or it’s beginning to affect your life (the anger spills over into work, or depression is holding you back), then it’s time to consult a mental health professional.

If you’re curious about how music therapy and GIM might help, contact me anytime.  I’m always happy to answer questions!