Looking on the Bright Side
It started off as ‘one of those days’…. You know the kind– husband home sick with a cold, daughter has a meltdown before you even leave for school, you can’t figure out to save your life how to convert a jpg file to print ready pdf, you wait 15 minutes on hold for the doctor’s office only to be told the nurse will call you back later, and it’s MONDAY. And CLOUDY.
Does any of this sound familiar? We all have those days. (Full disclosure: as of 11:10am, the above paragraph has been my day thus far!) None of us are immune to the little jabs life throws our direction on a regular basis. Some days it doesn’t seem like many jabs come our way, and other days it seems like that’s all we get.
So what are we to do? While it’s tempting to throw in the towel, curl up on the couch, and binge watch Netflix– avoidance is only a temporary answer. (Those files won’t convert themselves!) What’s the answer? I think there are two.
Compassion and resetting expectations.
Merriam Webster defines compassion as the emotion a person feels in response to the suffering of others. Having some self-compassion on ‘those days’ can be extremely helpful to your state of mind and emotional well-being. Instead of feeling increasingly frustrated and your fuse getting progressively shorter, try saying something like this– “Wow, I’m having a rough day! Everything seems to be going wrong. This is the kind of day that requires a lot from me. So I need to be extra sure that I’m paying attention to my Self and being kind to myself along the way.” This is definitely a good time to include a couple of self-care practices during the day
A few suggestions might be:
- perhaps a 5-10 minute meditation
- soaking in a hot bath after work
- stopping at your favorite coffee shop for a drink
- phone call with a close friend
After you’ve shown yourself some compassion and understanding, it’s time to look at resetting expectations. Because, if you think about it closely, isn’t that what this is all about? Back to my example– I expected that my husband would go to work today, but he’s home sick in bed with a cold. I expected that my daughter would quickly and efficiently complete a task I gave her, but she didn’t. I expected that I would be able to get a quick answer from the doctor’s office, but that took longer than I thought. I expected today to be partly sunny, but it’s almost noon and STILL cloudy. All those situations where I expected one outcome but got another. Sound familiar?
I needed to adjust my expectations. My day probably wouldn’t be as productive as usual because I’d have to spend time caring for my husband. My daughter is learning a new skill, and I need to allow her extra time to master it. My question for the doctor’s office wasn’t urgent, so perhaps calling later in the day (instead of 8:30am) would have meant a shorter wait time. Resetting my expectations for the day makes for less stress, less frustration, and (hopefully!) a better mood and outlook.
Next time you’re having ‘one of those days’, give this a try and let me know how it works for you! Or if you have a suggestion for how to deal with the little jabs life tosses your way, I’d love to hear it!
If you’re curious about how music therapy and GIM might help, contact me anytime. I’m always happy to answer questions!
